for the soaked

It’s very confusing when the tide of change that one has been thinking about and dreading finally reaches our toes.


All our thinking, all our hoping, all our avoiding, and all that analyzing has reached its peak. And then, just like that, without our consent, we’re no longer dry and unaware. We’re now soaked and uncomfortable, but so very much awake.

Sometimes it feels as if the universe made a decision and pushed us into a new stage, “If you’re not going to get up and do this, I’m going to have to help. You’ll thank me later.” [Enter tidal wave of undeniable emotions, inevitably comfortable truths, and icky circumstances.]

Suddenly you find that everything around you is different. The funny thing is that you know that you weren’t happy in that old place, you knew it, but you were comfortable. You could walk that dark and boring cave with your eyes closed. But now things have changed and though we like to think these changes are about something like work, a city, or a partner, it’s not. This change is internal. This is about you.

You don’t see things the way that you used to and you know that this is just starting. The old way no longer works for the new you. The same things don’t turn you on and the old tricks have lost their magic. The cravings have changed, and if you’re lucky, your definition of what matters most has evolved with it. You can’t believe it when you’re forced to admit that you’re no longer satisfied.

This is the stage that comes after all the thinking, all the theorizing, all the wondering. This is the stage where things happen.

Starting a new way is never easy so…keep starting until the start sticks.Tim Fargo

For all of you going through this, I feel for you. It’s a difficult level  to play on as you find yourself navigating through different emotional and mental stages. You’ll soon discover that unlike your last game, this one has no rules. The more you try to control things, the more confusing it will all be. You see, you are moving forward, you’re headed to a better place where things are simpler, if you let them be. You are shedding the old views and allowing new thinking to take over. This is a time when you’re going to discover the dead ends that held you up for so long, when you do, be patient with yourself. As you get up and bump in the dark, don’t become frustrated, just walk slower. Remember to use your senses. If you feel alone, it’s okay, there is greatness in learning to love that loneliness. No one can avoid this hole of a stage, but your resistance and ego can certainly prolong it.

You are already this new mind, this new heart. It just takes time to get used, it takes time to break them in.

“What is really scary is running naked inside yourself, revealing the real you.” Wes Adamson




About Antonella Saravia

Antonella is a New York based writer from Nicaragua.

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