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A few years back, I walked home from a long day at work with my head hanging low. On autopilot, I started my "feel good" routine. The first stop was the shop on the corner for flowers and food, followed by the wine store. An elaborate recipe and conversation could water down even the worst of days.
I hated my job. I hated waking up in the morning. I hated walking there. I hated being there. Hell, I’d feel anxious leaving because it was almost time to come back. But most of all, I hated being the kind of person who hated what they did every day.
At one point, this is something that happens to all of us. Whether it's work or personal, there are situations or stages in life that suck the life right out of us. But it's tricky, because who else got you here? We are the ones who build the lives we hate! I had dreamt of working at this place for so long—I didn't get it.
The people around me were always suggesting I find something else. But to me, that wasn’t the issue. I’ll find something, but then what? What if I hate it again?
One summer night, on the rooftop of our building, my brother, my boyfriend at the time, and I were having dinner. The view was amazing.
My boyfriend gently poked, “If you could go back in time and re-do college, what would you study?” Out of sheer pride and panic, I spit something out, “I’d write.” We went around the table, we laughed, and I shrugged off the conversation with the night’s end.
A few months later, I broke up. And soon after that, I changed jobs. In my struggle to move on, a friend suggested that I begin to journal. Within a few weeks, the lengthy journals became secretive blog posts which evolved into shared publications via Whats App and then via Facebook. This led to subscribers. Soon after, I got paid to write.
The universe goes over, goes around, goes under, or pulls you through something to get you where you need to be to receive what’s meant for you.
As subtle as it was, it seems to me that blurting out what I wanted had cued the universe that I was ready to receive it. Looking back, the only class I enjoyed in college was a Creative Writing class I took my Junior year.
As much as we want to play dumb to avoid moving forward, we always know. Even if the craving is something you are keeping from yourself.
We always know. So much so that you will say it over dinner without even realizing it. It’s gushing to get out of us. You just might not be ready for it, and that’s the hold up. Get ready.
The universe will know what to do when you cue it.